Kia Ora! My name is Maddison I am a year 8 form Yaldhurst Model School.
Wow! I think that its is an amazing idea to do for a piece of writing it was very interesting and creative. What gave you the idea to write about mondays?
I think that even though this I an amazing idea I think that there may be some things that you could improve on. First I think that you could try to write a bit more and give us some more infomation about why you write it and your thoughts on it. I also think that maybe you could add more colours to make it more eye catching these are just things to consider :)
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece of work! stay safe and stay home :) -Maddie
Hey Billie, Rhys here from T1. Nice writing Billie, I like that you made some parts rhyme, and also that you added Garfield, just amazing. Have you ever written about your mornings before? Maybe next time you could write a little bit more so your readers can really imagine it. Stay safe!
I throughly enjoyed this piece of writing about your mornings. It reminds me a lot of my house in the morning. So much to do, a bit of screeching (mainly by me) and a fair bit of panic. I am impressed by the way you have used short sentences to build the tension. Great crafting. Keep it up! Mrs P
Kia Ora! My name is Maddison I am a year 8 form Yaldhurst Model School.
ReplyDeleteWow! I think that its is an amazing idea to do for a piece of writing it was very interesting and creative. What gave you the idea to write about mondays?
I think that even though this I an amazing idea I think that there may be some things that you could improve on.
First I think that you could try to write a bit more and give us some more infomation about why you write it and your thoughts on it.
I also think that maybe you could add more colours to make it more eye catching these are just things to consider :)
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful piece of work!
stay safe and stay home :)
-Maddie
Hey Billie, Rhys here from T1. Nice writing Billie, I like that you made some parts rhyme, and also that you added Garfield, just amazing. Have you ever written about your mornings before? Maybe next time you could write a little bit more so your readers can really imagine it. Stay safe!
ReplyDelete- Rhys
Hi Billie,
ReplyDeleteI throughly enjoyed this piece of writing about your mornings. It reminds me a lot of my house in the morning. So much to do, a bit of screeching (mainly by me) and a fair bit of panic. I am impressed by the way you have used short sentences to build the tension. Great crafting. Keep it up! Mrs P